My brother and I were turning over dirt in our backyard. We did that every year to plant a garden for our father, and the air still had a cold sting to it in the early Ohio spring. But with the work we were doing, the chill eventually felt good against a sweaty brow. “Have you heard from from your friend?” my brother asked me.
“Are you going to contact them?”
“Because they prefer to spend time with others that aren’t me and…” I stopped shoveling for a second. It took strength away for me to say it. The words trailed and the end of the statement was lost because I couldn’t think of a word to express myself.
“What are you doing about it, and why are you not angry with them ?’ My brother asked.
“They were just…turning over dirt, ” I was inspired,” and they were looking to see if the soil was good for planting, just like you and I do every year for Dad. We turn the soil here and we find rocks and clay. We move to dig the dirt over there and we find black, rich soil that will provide a good harvest. Sometimes, we find soil that will require attention and fertilizer to create growth. It would be ridiculous of us to blame the bad soil because it is what it is. It would irresponsible to curse the bad soil and spread lye on it, or toxic chemicals out of spite. But, we should still have faith to dig in another area and not assume that it is all the same ground. The work takes time, and effort. I refuse to blame the digger. I refuse to yell at the rain. We are all tilling dirt in one way or another, and I chose to move to another patch of ground, and hoping for better soil. We all experience rain in our lives, but it makes no sense to yell at it when it helps the garden grow.”
“You have put some thought into this,” my brother smiled,” and who am I to argue with the rain? No grudge, no struggles. If one wants something more, go get something more. You are just wishing that patch of ground blessings in the future, and your not offended because your ground was disturbed. It is all part of planting.”
I smiled at him as he jumped into the analogy with both feet. Relationships are never perfect. We see the ground as all the same, until we start digging. No planting area is the same. Sometimes we turn the soil, and it is perfect, and other times…it isn’t. But, it would be insane to plant there anyhow, and ignore the lack of integrity of the soil…we all do though at one time or another.
With all things being equal, if all things are going right, we turn to our friends. If all things are going wrong, we turn to our friends. But even then, it shouldn’t be to the point of the results being less than fair. It shouldn’t be less than the best that can be done at the time. As we become older, we all need help with our general health in sight, or hearing, or transportation. Sometimes, planting is done in less than fertile ground with these issues, just to get the planting done. It doesn’t have to be that way.
One deserves great service and your audiologist’s total attention. One deserves to hear better, and that the tinnitus is reducing so that you can sleep, and if that isn’t happening, one should dig deeper. One, most of all, always deserves a good honest relationship, and fertile ground.
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