Since I have received my hearing aids, I found that I can hear much better. Since I have received my hearing aids, I can hear, but I found that I had to learn how to listen better. The challenge for me, since I can understand what is being said, is to understand what is being really said. If this sounds like a bunch of tangled mess, please let me clarify.
Sometimes, I don’t like what I am hearing. The words that I don’t like can create an emotional response. Before, when I didn’t understand, I had go-to responses. I would smile and say, “sure”, or “nice.” They were generic responses that generally fit, and then I would try to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Now…
What creates the emotional response? Judgmental statements. Passive aggressive statements. Personal attacks. Unsolicited advise. Just like any of us, all I could hear was the arguments in my head. The assessments were made quickly, the responses formed even more quickly, and I would volley a round of come-backs without prejudice.
The problem? What I was hearing was not what they meant. I had to learn how to listen again. Before, I had become so dependent on body cues that I forgot about tone and context. I was reintroduced to listening to the meaning behind the words, beyond my first impressions. It became a rebirth into understanding them and what was being said, before forming my responses before their sentences were completed. The great thing about hearing? You can hear. The bad thing about hearing? You can hear it all. Good. Bad. All.
I am connected though. When I take the hearing aids out, I experience a disconnect. I had someone the other day trying to remind me to smile. I had my aids out and I didn’t hear her. Finally, she said, ” No smile? Not today? Ok.” She walked away from me and I know I upset her. With hearing aids, one hears the good and the bad. Either way, I prefer to hear, listen well, and understand when someone is trying to remind me to smile.